What His Text Message Means...

Here at HeTexted, we spend our days helping people figure out what exactly he meant by that “just really busy at work” text. Maybe he’s genuinely busy, or maybe he’s just busy avoiding you. Valentine’s Day is an especially fun holiday for us, because most of the time we’re inundated with happy “success” stories.  Don’t get us wrong though — there’s a heck of a lot of confusion, too. And since that little thing called "social media" has completely changed the way we date, we're here to walk you through figuring out what he’s saying vs. what he means. Happy Valentine's Day!

Text Situation No. 1 : He gives me lots of compliments, but only over text.
What he means: It’s easier to say anything over text than in person. Think about it. If a guy said, "I think you're cute" to your face, there would be a lot more to deal with: your facial reaction, your response, other people in the room hearing or seeing, the weight of the silence in the room. We’ve been texting in place of face-to-face conversation for so long that we forget how much words matter and how they weigh on the atmosphere. Those nice words expressed in text don’t carry the same weight as when they're said face-to-face. Think about any text that you weren’t sure about sending. You probably sent it out, then immediately turned your phone over and thought, “I probably shouldn't have sent that.” You didn’t have to deal with any of the peripheral pressures that exist in an actual conversation. These types of texts are nice and feel good, but they’re all about gaining your trust without the effort.
Related: The Ultimate Breakup Told in Movie Titles

Text Situation No. 2: We went on a date, we had fun, and now all we do is text about nothing.
What he means: This is the plight of the 2014 20-something. She goes on the date, has a fun time, kisses him, texts about nothing (“Yeah, the weather is so gross”), sets up another date, gets canceled on by the guy because of “work,” is told the guy has weekend plans but can “meet up later." She “meets up later,” hooks up, then repeats the process until it’s blatantly obvious that this relationship will never advance. It’s unbelievable how often this happens. We've all gone on dates with very nice people. Had a very nice time. Enjoyed the conversation. The problem is, we only have so much time and money to invest in someone we already know we don't want a long-term relationship with, but they don't necessarily want to completely blow the person off –– especially if the other person is still willing to partake in the "meet up later" part, thus the weather/news/small talk texts. Consider them a red flag.

Text Situation No. 3: He sends me flirtatious texts even though he has a girlfriend.
What he means: He's feeling you out. Remember that it's easier for him to say those things over text than it is to say them to your face. Over text, there's deniability of tone so if his girlfriend calls him out, he has an explanation. And if he knows you know he's taken, he's probably feeling you out to see how you'll react to the flirting behind his girlfriend's back. Our advice? Move on. If he likes you, then he will end it with his girlfriend and make an effort to restart this conversation. Right now, all he's doing is setting himself up for his rebound hookup. And you don't want to be that person, right?
Related: 5 Traits That Make a Great Partner
Facebook Situation: He’s always “liking” my Facebook posts.
What he means: We live by the rule that if you notice something then it is something. If a guy likes one post or photo, don't put too much weight on that. But if he suddenly becomes a fan, “liking” a bunch of your posts, comments, and spring break photos from five years ago, then he’s trying to tell you something. The fact is, he’s been looking at your stuff on Facebook for a lot longer than he’s been “liking” your stuff. This is him taking a small risk. He’s raising his hand in a crowded room to let you know that he’s there and he has his eye on you. If you think it's creepy then un-friend him; but if you’re interested, like something of his and play the game. Like a few of his posts but hold out on the private message: It can look desperate.

Snapchat Situation: He sends me pics all the time.
What he means: Receiving a Snapchat feels more important than sending one. When we get, one we're like, “How thoughtful that everyone wants me to see their pictures. I’m so great and popular.” And when we send one, I’m like, “Hey contacts list! I’m not even sure who half of you are, but look at my life! I rock.” Guys generally send Snapchats to large groups of girls with the hope that one feels special enough to send something back. So if he’s sending you pictures all the time, it isn’t because he wants you to see his life 10 seconds at a time. It’s because he wants 10 seconds of something he can’t see in your profile pictures album.
Tinder Situation: Conversations start but they never materialize into dates.
What it means: Always remember that no matter how good your conversation is, he’s still swiping (that means looking to meet new girls, for you Tinder newbies). We know you both are “so bored at work” and “love binge watching shows”; while that’s enough in common to go on a first date, he’s still swiping. Think of Tinder as talking to a guy at a bar that’s full of other women. He talks to you but darts his eyes around the room looking to see if there are better options. If he doesn’t ask for your number and take you out (in this case, off of Tinder and on a real date), then he’s still looking. The process goes like this: swipe, match, rejudge, message, rejudge based on the message, swipe other girls, message, rejudge, go on a date. A “match” is barely the beginning. You’re still six steps away from an actual date.

Human Interaction Situation: He spoke to me at a bar and said we should do drinks next week.
What he means: It’s so cute to get a question from the past! This email must have washed ashore in a bottle.

Lisa Winning hails from Australia and attended the London School of Economics before landing in New York City to figure out this whole texting game. Having spent years watching her girlfriends hash out what to text a guy they just met and experiencing her own share of awkward texts and kill-me-now dates, Lisa created the advice site HeTexted and co-wrote a book on the topic.

Jared Freid is a New York-based comedian and writer. He has been featured on MTV and more recently on AXS TV’s "Gotham Comedy Live." He writes weekly for HeTexted, TotalFratMove, and PostGradProblems. He contributed to the book "He Texted: The Ultimate Guide to Decoding Guys."

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10 Great Movies That Will Make You Cry, Dare To Be Immune?

"About Time" may have looked like a simple rom-com about time travel. It was not, however, and something we realized after weeping through the poetic beauty of the film's father-son love story. Richard Curtis' film got us thinking: What other movies have held the emotive power to make us not just tear up, but sob in uncontrolled heaves?

Here, we round up the most effective tear-inducing films ever, telling you, dear readers, why they made us cry all the tears. Read our editors' picks and tell us what movies left you sobbing in the comments below.
"Armageddon"
"Armageddon" has me in tears every single damn time. It's really not hard to understand. Spoiler alert: Harry (Bruce Willis) sacrifices himself to save mankind by detonating a bomb on the asteroid that is spiraling toward Earth. Mostly, though, he does it so his daughter, Grace (Liv Tyler), can have shot at a life with A.J. (Ben Affleck). I repeat, he sacrifices himself so his daughter can be with the man she loves. There's a whole backstory about how he initially disapproves of the relationship, which makes everything even more emotional. Just try not to cry during the goodbye scene, when Harry tells Grace he won't be coming home. HEARTBREAKING. (Also: Aerosmith.) -- Stephanie Marcus

"A Walk To Remember"
"A Walk To Remember" wrecked me, and not just because Mandy Moore looked like a pale, Puritan angel, as she slipped away in Landon's (Shane West) powerful arms. I was 11 years old at the time and I think my biggest problem was establishing the necessity of a midnight bed time. Maybe it was the realization that our existence is finite and love is transitory. Or maybe I was overwhelmed by my newly pubescent attraction to the god among men that Shane West was in 2002. Either way, I left that movie theater, clutching my Limited Too purse, determined to find a fellow fifth grader with whom I could forge a connection as real as the one Jamie and Landon shared. -- Lauren Duca

"Blue Valentine"
There's no shortage of busted relationships in movies, but none is as authentic or heartrending as the one seen in Derek Cianfrance's acclaimed indie "Blue Valentine." The story, which pairs an unhappy pre-med student named Cindy (Michelle Williams) and a high school dropout named Dean (Ryan Gosling), chronicles the marriage they launch into upon discovering Cindy is pregnant. The vulnerable couple tries their damnedest to make it work, clinging to the spark that first ignited their kindred souls. But their sparring personalities render the relationship impossible, and watching them suffer through the agony of that revelation is like watching a beautiful swan disintegrate back into an ugly duckling. The film's final moments cement it as one of the most honest and sob-inducing portraits of human interaction seen onscreen. -- Matthew Jacobs

"Rudy"
"Rudy's" effect on me is Pavlovian. (The score alone can bring forth the waterworks.) The ultimate underdog story of the last 25 years, "Rudy" stars Sean Astin ("Goonies" really do never say die) as Rudy, a diminutive good guy whose told by everyone, including his own family, to forget his lifelong dream: playing football for Notre Dame. (He's five-foot-nothing, a hundred-and-nothing, after all.) Long story short (pun), everyone is wrong, and thanks to a bunch of twists of fate, Rudy finally reaches his goal during the final game of his senior year. Just typing this is making me tear up. HIS DAD IS SO PROUD LOOK AT HIS BROTHER "WHO'S THE WILD MAN NOW?" Ugh. -- Christopher Rosen

"Stepmom"
To be honest, I haven't watched the movie in years because I'm afraid of the waterworks that will flow when Jena Malone rejects cool-photographer-stepmom (Julia Roberts) in favor of dying-of-cancer-real-mom (Susan Sarandon). Released in 1998, this movie was prime Julia and Susan years, when sentimentality ruled and Ed Harris was hunky. But when the kids have to say goodbye to Susan's character, and when she finally accepts/ forgives Julia's character? I just can't. -- Jessica Goodman

"Up"
You sit down to watch an uplifting animated little Pixar gem, and no later than the opening credits you're bawling. The introductory montage of bright-eyed Carl and his adventurous wife, Ellie, as they go from painting their first mailbox to wrinkled, grey and saying goodbye to each other in a hospital room -- with their dreams of adventure never being realized -- is simply devastating. If you don't shed a tear for the pair who never got to put their penny jar to good use with a visit to Paradise Falls, you're not human. -- Kiki Von Glinow

"The Land Before Time"
As a child, my cinematic intake revolved almost entirely around "The Land Before Time" series. While all 12 sequels are beautiful and necessary chapters of the history of dinosaurs, nothing strums my heartstrings quite like the original. The movie tees you up with the birth of Littlefoot -- the sole offspring of a diminishing herd of "Longnecks" -- a scene that will have you squirming with all the cute feelings. Then the "Sharptooth" comes in and ruins everything. As Littlefoot's mom lies on the ground in the pouring rain, and tells her son with her dying breath, "I'll be with you, even if you can't see me," all happiness in life ceases to exist. Between the five young protagonists' ability to bridge the castes of their ancestors, Diana Ross' "If We Hold on Together" and the magical BFF hilltop embrace at the end, this movie will always be my man-crying marathon. -- Ryan Kristobak

"I Am Love"
Luca Guadagnino's 2009 film about an aristocratic Italian family could have been yet another study about a snooty set of society with too much money. Instead, told through the eyes of Tilda Swinton (outstanding as family matriarch Emma Recchi), the film swiftly and sometimes violently unravels in the name of love and sexual passion. The last 20 minutes are devastating. -- Youyoung Lee

"The Green Mile"
I first saw this movie when I was 17, and I completely fell in love with it. In addition to its valuable message about the death penalty, it really got the emotions going. I cried when Del bonded with his mouse Mr. Jingles, I sobbed when I found out John Coffey was innocent and every electric chair scene slayed me. Unfortunately, I cried so much that I'll absolutely never see "The Green Mile" again. -- Leigh Weingus

"Bridges Of Madison County"
It was a hot summer’s day as I sat in the cold dark theatre at Lincoln Center watching a screening of “The Bridges of Madison County” as part of a Clint Eastwood retrospective. Though I was (as every human is) a huge Meryl Streep fan, this 1995 film (directed by Eastwood) had been off my radar until my friend Maggie came out of her room one day a year earlier, eyes swollen from crying and shoved the DVD in my hand.

Now here Maggie and I sat watching one of our now-favorite films on the big screen, and I knew the waterworks were coming. Was it my recent bad breakup? The heartwrenching score by Lennie Niehaus? The age-old theme of lost love? Probably all of the above. It doesn’t matter what set it off because there I was, sobbing into my arm through the final half hour of the film. From the moment when Francesca (Streep) takes a bath preparing for her romantic dinner with Robert (Clint Eastwood) to the famous scene when she almost leaves to be with him, to her children finding their mother’s mementos from that romantic weekend. It’s. All. Too. Much. If you ever need a good cry sob, watch this movie. It’ll get the job done. -- Christopher Rudolph.

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